Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khybar pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe. But the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas. He wants all the British dead! But his troops fear the "skirted-devils"; they are rumoured not to wear anything underneath. Then one is caught with his pants on...

Haskell (Michael Caine) is assigned a job by his boss, the aristocratic Landon-Higgins (James Fox), to highjack a high security van in broad daylight while it's in the shadow run (out of radio contact with the main security firm). He assembles a team to carry out the heist, but things don't go according to plan and Haskell begins to think his boss might be double crossing him. Add to this, a teenage boarding school pupil has already witnessed some of the meetings of the team and Haskell's in real trouble.

Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a "sanitary engineer" (plumber) by the name of Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal! Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids - revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise...

Bertram Oliphant West (also known as Bo West) wants to clear his unjustly smeared reputation. He joins the Foreign Legion, with Simpson his manservant in tow. But the fort they get posted to is full of eccentric legionnaires, and there is trouble brewing with the locals too. Unbeknown to Bo, his lady love has followed him in disguise...

The sinister Dr Watt has an evil scheme going. He's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores. Fortunately for Dr Watt, Detective-Sergeant Bung is on the case, and he doesn't have a clue! In this send up of the Hammer Horror movies, there are send-ups of all the horror greats from Frankenstein to Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde.